Lyrics of Going under

Is it wrong to talk to myself even when there's nobody else?
I'm just checkin' out that i'm not gone under the water
Thrown on the beach like a seal ready for slaughter

Can't you understand that the way things were planned
It never worked out so i would just went crazy
I took to the drink, like something says it's maybe

I ain't got no excuse and that's really the news
Got nothing else to say, that it's my way, it's always my way
I seem to be runnin' away so often

I'll try anything once and that's the way we should be
But it's always the same gettin' caught up again in a habit, a habit
But i just can't shake off the way it always turned out

Can you understand it's the way i choose to be?
Everything seems so easy this way but i'm goin' under fast
Slippin' away, am i so crazy?