Lyrics of Ain't gonna figure it yet

I'm brave but i'm shaking, i'm near but yet i'm far
I don't believe in civilization but yet i still drive a car
I'm crippled but i'm walking, i'm freed yet i'm barred
I don't believe in hard work but still i have a farm

But look what it all comes down to
Ain't gonna figure it yet
'til you have one hand full of ashes
And the other hand is putting your soul to rest

I'm broke but i'm still spending, i'm poor but i'm kind
I'm a sinner yet i'm an angel, i'm leading but i'm behind
I'm dumb but i'm talking, i'm seeing yet i'm blind
I'm dull but i'm still shinning, i'm alive but i can die

But look what it all comes down to
Ain't gonna figure it yet
'til you have one hand full of ashes
And the other hand is putting your soul to rest

I ain't hungry but i'm drinking, i hate liquor but i'm drinking wine
I'm puzzled to be crowned king, i'm the law but i do crime
I'm cool but i'm vicious, i'm a fool but i'm wise
I'm a politician but i'm not voting, i guess this is the end of my line

But look what it all comes down to
Ain't gonna figure it yet
'til you have one hand full of ashes
And the other hand is putting your soul to rest

I'm sad but i'm happy, i'm not gonna lose my mind
It's late but it's so early and i wonder what's the time