Lyrics of 28 butts

It's a typical day in the universe
Another mc spits a puny verse
I try to get through my day without sayin a curse
Because i curse too much and such and such

I try to improve my vocabulary
I try to cut out eatin meat and dairy
I wanna bring back the days of the tooth fairy
Cause i lost my innocence

I'm young and dumb and old and wise at the same time
Cause i know jesus was a rock star
And it was elvis who turned water into wine
I wanna save a kangaroo from a life in a zoo
I wanna own a llama, i want less drama in my life
I think i really wanna be a happy housewife

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, i'm smokin like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When i was swiggin my bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin myself company

I think back all the days i was smokin carawhack
It was really kinda like an addiction, non fiction
Just readin my days and nights away
I used to pray to a funny little fat man
Til i found out he was santa clause
Cause saint nick never brought shit
And there i go cursin again

I'm my only friend and i'm definitely my very worst enemy
It kinda triggers a memory, let's bring it back to 83
When i ate a watermelon, swallowed the seeds
Suddenly there was a watermelon growin in my tummy
I skipped a jump rope, every time i jumped up
I heard a rattle that sounded like a tambourine

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, i'm smokin like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When i was swiggin my bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray cause it's just me
Keepin myself company

Hey mama, are you proud of me?
I applied for a job at mickeyd's
I gotta do somethin with my life
Because my idle time is eatin me

Like i'm a super sized french fry
Drenched in ketchup, fryin over patch up
But i know i taste better than that
Like they used to taste before they outlawed trans fat

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, i'm smokin like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When i was swiggin my bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin myself company