Lyrics of This grudge

fourteen years, thirty minutes,
Fifteen seconds, i held this grudge
Eleven songs, four full journals,
Thoughts of punishment
I've expanded
Not in contact, not a letter
Such communication, telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that stuck?
Who's it torturing now?
With an antique knot in her stomach

(refrain:)
I wanna be big and let go
This grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

I come abandoned house
Dusty cupboard, furniture still intact

And if i visit it now
Will i simply relive it
Somehow, into it us

But who's still waking now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with
No gift from time of said healing?

(au refrain)

Maybe as i cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as i lay this to rest
The weight off my shoulders will rise

Here i sit much determined
Ever real equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained,
Validated and has served me well
And for the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down?
This (love life) i carried longer
Than i had cared to remember

(au refrain)