Lyrics of Three balloons

I call you from my car to say i'll be there in awhile
A short plan ride and i will get to see your pretty smile.
There's nothing on the radio; i'd fiddled the dial
Then i see a sign: the airport is just another mile
I check my bags and think about how much i hate to fly,
And as i near security i almost start to cry.

Well i hope the law enforcement agent's can't tell from my face,
I got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and i'm nervous and i need a little air,
'cuz with four balloons of heroin, it's getting crowded up in there.
Crowded up in there.

My mind is all a-jumble and my blood is cold as ice.
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise.
Relax, i say, it's not so bad; it might be kinda nice,
Besides who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice.
I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host;
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed.

Well i say a little prayer "hail maria full of grace",
I've got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and i'm nervous and i need a little air,
And i swear i'm farting lines of blow into my underwear.
Ooh, from my derriere.

I was a little eager when i loaded up my stash
Five balloons of ecstacy, six balloons of hash,
Eight balloons of lsd, nine of sexy mild,
A box of chinese fireworks, a guatemalan child.
I made it to the gate and now my joy i can't contain.
I board the aircraft, take my seat in the cockpit of the plane-

As i taxi down the runway i get a smile on my face,
And i've got three baloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
Flight crew, prepare for takeoff, as i lift us the air,
And by the way does anyone want to buy a guatemalan child.
Oh, from my derriere.

I got three balloons...

I got three balloons...

I got three balloons...