Lyrics of Join the british army

When i was young, i used to be,
As fine a man as ever you'd see,
'til the prince of wales, he said to me,
Come and join the british army.

Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo,
They're lookin' for monkeys up in the zoo,
And since when have i had a face like you?
I'd join the british army.

Sarah comden baked a cake,
It's all for poor old slattery's sake,
She threw meself into the lake,
Pretendin' i was balmy.

Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
Now i'll work me ticket home to you,
And *pfft* the british army.

Sergeant heeley went away,
And his wife got in the family way,
And the only words that she could say,
Was blame the british army.

Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo,
Me curse upon the labour blue,
That took me darlin' boy from me,
To join the british army.

Corporal sheen's a turn o' the 'bout,
Just give him a couple o' jars o' stout,
He'll bake the enemy with his mouth,
And save the british army.

Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
Now i'll work me ticket home to you,
And *pluck* the british army.