Il testo della Who's on first?

Abbott: how do you how do you like my ball club lou?
Costello: hey, all those people gonna be at the game today?
Abbott: certainly.
Costello: ah, this is gonna be a whopper of a game!
Abbott: well it should be.
Costello: hey, abbott
Abbott: what?
Costello: i understand they made you the manager of this here whole great team.
Abbott: why not?
Costello: so you the manager?
Abbott: im the manager!
Costello: well, you know, id like to know some of the guys names on the team so when i meet em on the street or in the ballpark ill be able to say, hello, to those people.
Abbott: why sure ill introduce you to the boys. they give em funny names though, st. lou.
Costello: oh i know they give those ball players awful funny names.
Abbott: well, lets see, on the team we have uh whos on first, whats on second, i dont know is on third
Costello: are you the manager?
Abbott: yes.
Costello: you know the guys names?
Abbott: i sure do.
Costello: then tell me the guys names.
Abbott: i say, whos on first, whats on second, i dont knows on third and then you
Costello: you the manager?
Abbott: yes.
Costello: you know the guys names?
Abbott: im telling you their names!
Costello: well whos on first?
Abbott: yeah.
Costello: go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy on first.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy playin first base.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy on first.
Abbott: who is on first!
Costello: what are you askin me for? im askin you!
Abbott: im not asking you, im telling you.
Costello: you aint tellin me nothin. im askin you, whos on first?
Abbott: thats it!
Costello: well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: who!
Costello: the guy on first base.
Abbott: thats his name.
Costello: thats whose name?
Abbott: yes.
Costello: well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: thats the mans name!
Costello: thats whose name?
Abbott: yeah!
Costello: well go ahead and tell me!
Abbott: who is on first.
Costello: what are you askin me for? im askin you, whos on first?
Abbott: thats it.
Costello: well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy on first.
Abbott: thats it.
Costello: whats the guys name on first?
Abbott: no, whats on second.
Costello: im not askin you whos on second!
Abbott: whos on first.
Costello: thats what im askin you! whos on first?
Abbott: now wait a minute. dontdont change the players.
Costello: im not changin nobody! i asked you a simple question. whats the guys name on first base?
Abbott: whats the guys name on second base.
Costello: im not askin you whos on second!
Abbott: whos on first.
Costello: i dont know.
Abbott: hes on third. now were not talking about him.
Costello: look, you got a first baseman?
Abbott: yes.
Costello: then tell me the fellas name playin first.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy playin first.
Abbott: thats his name.
Costello: waitwhats the guys name on first base?
Abbott: what is the guys name on second base!
Costello: whos playin second?
Abbott: whos playin first.
Costello: i dont know.
Abbott: hes on third base.
Costello: look, when you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: every dollar of it.
Costello: yeah. look, you gotta pay the money to somebody on first base, dont you?
Abbott: yeah.
Costello: does he give you a receipt?
Abbott: sure.
Costello: how does he sign the receipt?
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy that you give the money to.
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy you give the money to.
Abbott: thats how he signs it.
Costello: thats how who signs it?
Abbott: yes.
Costello: well go ahead and tell me!?abbott: thats it.
Costello: thats who?
Abbott: yeah.
Costello: when you give the guy the money, doesnt he have to sign the receipt?
Abbott: he does!
Costello: well how does he sign his name?
Abbott: who.
Costello: the guy you give the money to.
Abbott: thats how he signs it!
Costello: you! youyou just dont give money to someone without having em sign the receipt!
Abbott: no! who signs it.
Costello: what are you askin me for?
Abbott: now calm down. im not asking you, i am telling you. the
Costello: well go ahead and tell me. whats the guys name that signs the receipt on first base?
Abbott: well now wait a minute. what signs his own receipt.
Costello: who signs his own receipt?
Abbott: no, who signs his.
Costello: im askin you, when the guy on first base gives you a piece of paper
Abbott: yes, now wait
Costello: he puts his name on it.
Abbott: no, who puts his name on it
Costello: how
Abbott: and what puts his name on it
Costello: how does the fellas name on first base look to you when he signs his name?
Abbott: who.
Costello: to you.
Abbott: thats how it does.
Costello: how does it look to you?
Abbott: who!
Costello: to you.
Abbott: who!
Costello: to you.
Abbott: who! look
Costello: when the guy signs his name, how does it look to you?
Abbott: now thats how it looks. who.
Costello: hhowwho?
Abbott: who.
Costello: im askin you. whats the guys name on first base you give the money to?
Abbott: who! after all, the mans entitled to it
Costello: who is?
Abbott: yes. sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: whose wife?
Abbott: yeah, sure.
Costello: all im tryin to find out is whats the guys name on first base
Abbott: what is on second base.
Costello: im not askin you whos on second.
Abbott: whos on first.
Costello: i dont know.
Abbott: hes
Costello: third base, i know.
Abbott: yeah.
Costello: you got a outfield?
Abbott: sure.
Costello: the left fielders name?
Abbott: why.
Costello: i just thought id ask you.
Abbott: well i just thought id tell you.
Costello: the left fielders name?
Abbott: why!?costello: hmmbecause!
Abbott: oh, hes centerfield.
Costello: oh
Abbott: told you all these players got
Costello: all im tryin to figure out is whats the guys name in leftfield.
Abbott: now, whats on second.
Costello: im not askin you whos on second.
Abbott: whos on first.
Costello: i dont know
Both: third base.
Costello: you got a pitcher on this team?
Abbott: wouldnt be a fine team without a pitcher.
Costello: whats his name?
Abbott: tomorrow.
Costello: you dont want to tell me today?
Abbott: im telling you.
Costello: then go ahead.
Abbott: tomorrow!?costello: what time?
Abbott: what time what?
Costello: what time tomorrow are you gonna tell me whos pitching?
Abbott: now listen. who is not
Costello: ill break your arm, you say whos on first! i want to know whats the pitchers name?
Abbott: whats on second.
Costello: i dont know.
Both: third base!
Costello: you got a catcher?
Abbott: sure.
Costello: the catchers name?
Abbott: today.
Costello: today. you dont wanna tell me, todaytomorrowdo you?
Abbott: im telling you.
Costello: so the catchers name?
Abbott: today.
Costello: today. and tomorrows pitching.
Abbott: now youve got it!
Costello: now ive got it
Abbott: hey!
Costello: all we got is a couple of days on the team!
Abbott: well i cant help that.
Costello: all right. you know now, im a good catcher. now, i get behind the plate andand tomorrows pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up.
Abbott: yes.
Costello: now when he gets up, me being a good catcher, im gonna throw the guy out at first base. so the guy bunts the ball. i pick up the ball; im gonna throw the guy out at first base. so i pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: now thats the first thing youve said right.
Costello: i dont even know what im talkin about!
Abbott: well thatsthats all you have
Costello: thats all i have to do is to throw the ball to first base. now whos got it?
Abbott: naturally. now youve got it.
Costello: i throw the ball to first base, somebodys gotta get the ball! now whos got it?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: who?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: naturally?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: so i pick up the ball and i throw it to naturally.
Abbott: no, no, no, no
Costello: he gets the ball. naturally gets the ball andnat
Abbott: you throw the ball to first base.
Costello: then who gets it?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: so i pick up the ball and i throw it to naturally.
Abbott: no!
Costello: naturally gets the ball andand
Abbott: you throw the ball to who.
Costello: naturally.
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: thats what im saying!?abbott: youre not saying it
Costello: i said, i throw the ball to naturally.
Abbott: no you dont!
Costello: i throw it to who?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: thats what im saying!
Abbott: no it isnt.
Costello: i throw the ball to first base, somebodys gotta get it.
Abbott: so who gets it.
Costello: naturally.
Abbott: thats it.
Costello: okay. now i ask you, who gets it?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: same as you!
Abbott: now listen
Costello: i throw the ball to naturally.
Abbott: you throw the ball to who!?costello: then who gets it?
Abbott: naturally.
Costello: he better get it! so i throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: all right.
Costello: whoever gets it drops the ball and the guy runs to second. now, who picks up the ball and throws it to what. what throws it to i dont know. i dont know throws it back to tomorrow, triple play.
Abbott: could be.
Costello: another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to because.
Abbott: yes.
Costello: why? i dont know! hes on third and i dont give a darn!
Abbott: whatd you say?
Costello: i said, i dont give a darn!
Abbott: oh, thats our shortstop!