Lyrics of Hot water burn baby

Father: well ryan, tomorrow's a big day. your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
Ryan : baby sister
Father: that's right, baby sister.
Ryan : baby sister
Father: so, uh, i think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : saftey rules
Father: okay, rule number one: always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : wash hands
Father: do you know why?
Ryan : no
Father: well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby sick
Father: that's right, that's right, ryan. germs make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the baby sick
Father: okay, rule number two.
Ryan : more rules
Father: don't feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't feed the baby.
Father: that's right.
Ryan : why?
Father: well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan : why?
Father: oh...well, other food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the baby
Father: that's right, good. now, rule number three.
Ryan : more rules
Father: never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : water bad for the baby
Father: well, not all water, just hot water,
Ryan : yes
Father: cause hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : i don't understand, daddy
Father: okay, see this glass of water that i'm drinking?
Ryan : yes
Father: well, this water is okay for the baby.
Ryan : yes
Father: here, touch the glass.
Ryan : yes
Father: see, it's nice and cool.
Ryan : yes
Father: now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby?
Father: yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your baby
Father: yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in swimming pool?
Father: oh no, the swimming pool is okay. swimming pool water is cool.
Ryan : yes
Father: that's alright.
Ryan : yes
Father: but the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn the baby
Father: yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the baby
Father: yes. now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
Ryan : yea, baby like tea
Father: no ryan, uh, i don't think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no like tea?
Father: well, i'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot water
Father: right, and what did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water burn baby
Father: yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: that's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: yes.
Ryan : baby no take bath?
Father: no, bath water is warm. warm is okay.
Ryan : yes
Father: hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water burn baby
Father: yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: i think you're gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: that's right, ryan.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: now don't you ever forget that!
Narrator: 30 year later!
Wife : hey, ryan, what are you doing out there?
Ryan : just watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Ryan : aw, great baby, aight, i'll be in in a few momentos. lemme just wind down...(garbled)
Wife : okay, honey!
Ryan : yeah.
Tv : the villagers of pasquan
Ryan : pasquan
Tv : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
Ryan : (garbled)
Tv : unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
Ryan : my god.
Tv : that explains the pasquan's low population.
Ryan : yeah, it does.
Tv : on the first full moon of autumn, all the pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
Ryan : deerskin.
Tv : ...which have been passed along from generation to generation.
Ryan : that's nice.
Tv : the entire pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of chin-chara.
Ryan : ya-yara
Tv : each pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
Ryan : wow.
Tv : ...four times.
Ryan : four times.
Tv : once for the sun,...
Ryan : hmm.
Tv : ...once for the moon,...
Ryan : the moon.
Tv : ...once for the earth,...
Ryan : the earth.
Tv : ...and once for the wind.
Ryan : the wind, too.
Tv : when the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan : what?
Tv : ...where the ceremonial purification will be completed.
Ryan : what are you saying here?
Tv : as we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
Ryan : no.
Tv : ...and dunk them into the steaming water.
Ryan : no! no! hot water burn baby! hot water burn baby!
Father: that's right, ryan. hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Wife : ryan! what's going on out there? are you okay?
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: that's right, ryan. hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: you are a bitch, ryan!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Wife : ryan, are you alright?
Father: hot water burn the baby!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Wife : ryan!
Father: what are you gonna do, whore?
Wife : ryan!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: bitch!
Wife : ryan! what's going on out there?
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: whore!
Wife : who are you talking to?
Father: bitch!
Ryan : i'm talking to the man!
Father: whore!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Wife : ryan!
Father: bitch! ryan is a whore!