Lyrics of Orlando

I was sitting naked in a holiday inn down in orlando
And it was the morning of the last day of the year
I didn't know who i was and i thought i mightve been evan dando
But if i was him then what the hell was i doing here

So i asked myself one simple question
What would i do with the rest of my life?
If i knew i couldnt fail, i guess i'd get the hell out of orlando
And find me a rich and beautiful wife

'cause i dont want to do a damn thing
And i want to be appreciated
And i want to get paid well
And i dont want to be hated

I dont want to do a damn thing
Except lie in the sun
And be loved, loved, loved
Loved, loved by everyone

So i called up the front desk to see if i could rent a porno
They said you better have a credit card
I said, honey, im pretty hard up but i aint got no visa
I said, honey could you please, uh, help me?
She said she was sorry but i think she was just disgusted

And i was kinda disgusted myself 'cause it had all come down to this
And i felt like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely
When youre sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird
Down in orlando in the middle of the night

So i called up an old friend to see how he was doing
But he sounded like a robot and it was like i barely knew him
So i said i had to go, then i couldnt take it any longer
You know the desire to throw my naked body
Out the fifth floor of the holiday inn kept getting stronger

I tried to take a cold shower but i couldnt get my nerve up
I just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair
That was the worst idea that i had all day
But goddamn, it gets lonely down in f l o r i d a

Then i thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybird
And just what the hell does it look like and what the hell am i doing
So i tried to write a song about it but this is all i got
You know i sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot

Except the part about killing myself
And the part about trying to find a rich wife
She said, you should have gone to sea world
You might have had a better time

I said, honey, thanks for the input, thanks for the advice
But i think that the only way im ever going back to orlando
Is if i live life twice

'cause i dont want to do a damn thing
And i want to be appreciated
And i want to get paid well
And i dont want to be hated

I dont want to do a damn thing
Except lie in the sun
And be loved, loved, loved
Loved, loved by everyone