Lyrics of Talkin' john birch paranoid blues

Well, i was feelin' sad and kind of blue
I didn't know what i was gonna do
The communists were comin' around
They was in the air, they were on the ground
They were all over

So i ran down most hurriedly
And joined the john birch society
I got me a secret membership card
Went back to my backyard
And started looking on the sidewalk
'neath the rose bush

Well, i was lookin' everywhere for them gold darned reds
I got up in the mornin' and looked under my bed
Looked behind the kitchen, behind the door
Even tore loose the kitchen floor, couldn't find any

I looked beneath the sofa, beneath the chair
Looking for them reds everywhere
I looked way up my chimney hole
Even looked deep inside my toilet bowl
They got away

I heard some footsteps by the front porch door
So i grabbed my shotgun from the floor
I snuck around the house with a huff and hiss and
"hands up, you communist" it was a mail man
He punched me out

Well, i quit my job so i could work alone
I got a magnifying glass like sherlock holmes
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they was red stripes on the american flag
Did you know about betsy ross

Well, i was sittin' home alone and i started to sweat
I figured they was in my television set
I peeked behind the picture frame
And got a shock from my feet that hit my brain
Them reds did it, no one's on the hootin' nanny

Well, i finally started thinkin' straight
When i run outta things to investigate
I couldn't imagine doin' anything else
So now i'm at home investigatin' myself
Hope, i don't find out too much, good god