Lyrics of The awakening

I am wasting away
The desires of my mind left
A shameful path walked by a man
Surely unworthy of grace
And i have no one to blame
And no one to take the pain away
Ive had my life
Hit the bottom multiple times before my eyes
So im left wasting away, wasting away
But im supposed to believe
That i can be saved
When the life ive lead is so despicable
Can i push the limits, be accepted for the things that ive done
Behind closed doors
For ive lived a life that im ashamed of
Will i be forgiven, or abandoned for the secrets i keep
Behind closed doors
Never had i imagined id seek forgiveness
And be accepted
Like i had never committed these sins
As i lay filthy, disgusted at my own reflection
I slowly i wonder if ill ever end this suffering

So i bide my time
And i lie awake at night
Then i close my eyes
And wonder if ill ever wake up
Its been too long now
Since i could believe
In places for people like me
To have their sins washed clean
Its been too long
Since i believed
Can i be clean
Its been too long