Paroles de Number one

I am a gambler
I am fortune's son
I am the first mate of the ncc-1701d
Well i had an encounter at farpoint station
With a little touch of constipation
While i was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived i got this feeling inside
That there was something that i needed to do
And it's true
That when i got to my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to piss in
But i was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
And so i flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know
Chorus:
I asked the ship's computer
I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the enterprise
I've been here seven days
And i can't wait anymore
Pretty soon i'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before
I can't sit down, i'm in some condition
How'd kirk survive on a five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
Cause i ain't feeling so great and i'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure
And now i've gained twenty pounds and i grew a beard
How could i shave without a bathroom mirror?
If i don't get some relief i'm gonna split my skin
Cause i'm as round as a globe and if i don't launch a probe
Soon i'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin
Chorus